Does your partner make you feel uncomfortable by:

Telling you what to do or not do, where to go or not go
Telling you who to be friends with
Telling you what clothes to wear and how to wear your hair and make-up
Telling you how to act
Telling you who to talk to or not talk to
Wanting you to tell them where you've been
Phoning you to make sure you are where you said you would be
Phoning, texting and emailing you a lot each day
Telling you what time to come home
Not telling you when he/she is coming over
Making all the big decisions
Following you around
Making you do something you don't want to do
Behaving jealous and possessive of your time
Does your partner not give you time alone by:

Going through your things
Listening to your phone calls
Opening your mail and email
Reading your notes, cards and letters
Wanting to know what you say to others word for word
Not leaving you alone – following you everywhere
Asking friends and family about what you do

Does your partner hurt your friendships with others?

Tells you lies about what your friends have said about you
Doesn't want you to go out with your friends without him/her
Is mean to your friends so that they will stop hanging out with you
Starts a fight with you right before you leave to go out with your friends
Puts down your friends
Tells you not to see your counselor or social worker
Doesn't want you to meet his/her friends
Wants you to choose between them and your friends
Doesn't give you messages

Does your partner want you to depend oh him/her?

Takes control of the money
Doesn't want you to work
Doesn't want you to have your own bank account
Tells you that you are stupid and can't make it on your own
Tells you "no one else will love you"
May tell you to quit school

Does your partner show other warning signs?

Doesn't like himself/herself very much
Hurts your feelings
Blames you and others for his/her mistakes
Gets angry a lot
Doesn't care for others' feelings
Acts tough or not interested
Cares so much that he/she becomes controlling
Wants to 'own you' and is very jealous of what you do with others
Seems to be obsessed with you; has to be a part of everything you do
Not want you to go anywhere without him/her
Finds it hard to share his/her feelings well
Doesn't listen to you when you talk

Your final total is:

Your relationship is probably healthy.

Be careful!
You may be in an unhealthy relationship.

Click here to find out who to contact if you need help.

Contact a counselor!
Your relationship is not healthy
and you might not be safe.

Click here to find out who to contact if you need help.

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