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One Day I Fell in Love... |
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I was a smart, confident, beautiful, old soul; very happy and curious about life. One day I fell in love with my soul mate, the next, I’m fearing for my life. I don’t know how he did it. How did he change me? Why did I let him? How did it happen? It feels like an unbelievable magic act. How did I end up with nothing?
If I describe how it felt being with my abuser, it was like a butterfly caught in a small jar. The butterfly is panicking, hitting the walls, but no one can hear it. He somehow made me believe I was wrong about everything and so I needed him to help me. Every day I felt like I was in a fog, like what was happening wasn’t real. If I didn’t experience so much real and emotional pain from this relationship, I would probably believe it was all a dream.
In October 2014 I prayed, asking God to give me the strength to leave this man for good. On December 5, 2014, I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. I thought if I told my abuser that we were going to have a child together that he would change and help me figure this out, crazy right, it’s all crazy. Instead he told me to never come see him again, and not to ask him for anything; he didn’t want to be involved. To prove his point he threatened me with a gun and said he was going to kill me and my baby.
How I escaped is a long story. My parents offered to help, even though we hadn’t talked in a long time. While at my parents’ house I was very afraid, I was in survival mode and kept having flashbacks and night terrors. My family was freaked out and didn’t know how to help me. While I was staying with my parents my ex began to threaten my family. I ended up not being able to stay with them, for all of our safety, and I had my baby while staying in another shelter. That was a huge wake-up call, but I was still weak.
My family in California offered to help me. When I was able to get a restraining order I cried tears of validation. Shortly thereafter I came to the Sheepfold. I arrived desperate, afraid, angry, and I needed answers, answers from God. I am 100% sure God brought us here. Every day I am healing. I don’t have to fight anymore and I know what peace feels like thanks to Jesus. God wants me close to him and the more I’m afraid the closer he wants me—that’s amazing. The Sheepfold gave me answers, not just resources and a safe roof over my head. Being here is more than anything I ever could have imagined. God is good!
Some days are still hard but I don’t have to go through it alone. The staff and residents are full of prayer and fellowship, this really feels like home. I am finding myself again and I’m excited for the future. Praise God! He is transforming our lives. I am so thankful to be here!
- Sheepfold Resident
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Domestic Violence Awareness: The Spiritual Side of Abuse
The month of October is domestic violence/abuse awareness month. This year I would really like us all to consider the spiritual side of domestic abuse. At the Sheepfold we strive not only to meet the visible needs of the women and children but also their spiritual needs.
The enemy’s goal is to render people ineffective. A person who questions their worth and value has no way of being positively effective. When moms and kids come to us we see the impact the enemy has had. He has used sin and brokenness to tear them down, lying to them, making it hard for them to know the promises that God has for them.
It is simple for society to care for the needs that are seen and that is a good thing, but what if we miss the things that are unseen. What if we neglect the spiritual side? How can we truly make an impact if we only seek to provide for people’s physical needs? At the Sheepfold, we care for the needs we can see, but we also seek the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the things unseen. We ask for guidance, wisdom, discernment, words, strength, and compassion among other things so we can provide a safe space for healing of the unseen things.
The spiritual, Christ centered portion of our program gives us the ability to bring the holistic healing our residents so desperately need. Prayer is such a crucial part of what we do. Asking in Jesus’ name as he commanded in John 14:14, is so powerful. We have the same spirit living in us, we have the power to call the enemy out and cast him aside. As you can imagine, or may very well know, working on the front lines of this spiritual battle can be challenging. Prayer and true communion with the Father are the only things that can get us through the battle.
This year instead of throwing domestic violence facts at you and asking you to share them with others, I’d like to ask you to pray and fast with us. As you are invited into this, I would ask you to go before the Lord and ask him how he would like you to approach this. You may feel lead to do this once or you may feel lead to establish a routine that you practice throughout the year. All I would ask is for you to consider going into battle with us, for us and the families we serve. The enemy wants us to fail so desperately, but the Lord is victorious!
- Kelly Wildman, Director of Operations |
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